Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

This weekend Stereogum is at Atlanta’s Shaky Knees fest, which’ll have sets from St. Vincent, Run The Jewels, the Strokes, Modest Mouse, Mac DeMarco, Phoebe Bridgers, and of course Foo Fighters. Foo Fighters did some good stuff.


#10  DJ Professor Dan
Score:29 | Oct 20th

But can you karaoke it?

Not only can you karaoke it, but you will rock the mic like a vandal!

There is not a line of “Ice Ice Baby” that is not a joy to say; from “All right stop, Collaborate and listen” – the best possible way to begin a song – to “Let’s get out of here… word to your mother” the coolest thing you will ever say whilst swaggering off the stage as the beat keeps on rockin.’

You know all the words? We all know all the words! They are brilliant words! “Wax a chump like a candle”, “cooking MCs like a pound of bacon,” “killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom”

What do they mean? I have no idea! But they’ll feel good coming out of your mouth.

When you cry out “I’m on a roll, it’s time to go solo” you will feel more confident than you ever have in your life. And so you should, for “anything less than the best is a felony” and since the police have passed you up – and confronted all the dope fiends – you are clearly the best.

Vanilla had fun recording it, you will have fun karaoke-ing it, and I truly hope that you can do tours of Miami, in a 5.0, following Vanilla’s route around the city or at least to A1A… Beachfront Avenue!

“Ice Ice Baby” gets ten out of ten microphones!

Let’s kick it!

Posted in: The Number Ones: Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”
#9  thegue
Score:29 | Oct 20th

Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” top YouTube official video comments:

1. “Iggy, get out of here, he’s still alive!”
-Jean Pierre Polnareff, 1988

2. Guys, it’s not easy to come up with something when you’re under pressure…

3. Vanilla Ice: can I copy your homework?
Queen: no
Vanilla Ice: Alright thanks.

4. 1:56 when wife’s boyfriend allows you to stay one hour up past bedtime

5. I heard this when I was sixteen in 1990. I thought my year as an exchange student in the US the following year would be like this. Instead I ended up on the prairie in Nebraska.

6. “I mean he is just a white rapper from Florida with a funny haircut” – Roger Taylor

7. I fuckin’ love this but he looks like me trying to unsnag a fishing lure

8. The ultimate rickroll for any Queen fan

9. 0:18 The school nurse when you crack your head open

Posted in: The Number Ones: Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”
#8  Rabbits Rabbits
Score:30 | Oct 20th

I always thought he looked like an anime artist’s idea of what a white guy from Miami looked like.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”
#7  Guy K
Score:35 | Oct 18th

How many #1 songs have ever rocked harder than “Black Cat”? In the fall of 1990, Janet Jackson came along and delivered a high-octane metal wallop that would have sent AC/DC cowering under the table, a gut-crunching banger that gave Joan Jett a serious run for her money, not to mention male rockers like Van Halen, Aerosmith and Def Leppard.
I have said previously that the Rhythm Nation 1814 album was arguably better than Thriller. I think “Black Cat” – Rhythm Nation 1814’s obvious counterpart to “Beat It” – might be better than “Beat It,” too. Maybe it was included on the album as part of a calculated effort to check off every conceivable format box that a pop album possibly can.
It also could have been included on the album because it is a damn good song – another in an impressive line of them.
Well done, Janet. 8/10.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat”
#6  Tom Breihan
Score:35 | Oct 20th

Damn, yeah, I fucked up. “Ice Ice Baby” is definitely better than “Penny Lane.”

Posted in: The Number Ones: Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”
#5  WilliamSockner
Score:36 | Oct 15th

Went and saw Ruston Kelly for my first pandemic-era concert on Monday at the Fillmore. Absolutely fantastic. Listening to so many people shout-sing what are essentially country mental health anthems was super moving, and as someone who’s seen him twice before, he just gets better and better as a performer.

I’ve been missing for most of the last few months because I relapsed on alcohol, got arrested, got put in a psychiatric hospital, and have been coming out and slowly recovering with the support of family, friends, coworkers and doctors. I haven’t been listening to a ton of music and have mostly spent my free time curled up in bed watching trashy teen TV. Seeing live music again has felt like coming out of my shell.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#4  BixMeister
Score:38 | Oct 18th

Sometimes I think about the culture shock I experienced moving from Minneapolis to Bismarck ND in the late 80s. On huge difference was moving from a place with multiple record stores that catered to people like me, to a place with, well, a record store/video rental placerecord store/video rental place. In Minneapolis I might be talking to the guy who managed The Replacements, or even the future Jimmy Jam who worked at a record store downtown before he became a member of The Time. In Minneapolis they knew my taste and I’d often be greeted with “Bix, I’ve got a record you just have to hear.”

In Bismarck the record store/video rental place was a cavernous store in the strip mall across from the main mall in town. Half of it was a record store, the other half video rental. Due to the laws at the time, retail places needed to be closed on Sunday (except grocery stores) but services could be open, so on Sunday the record selling side of the store was roped off, but you could go rent a movie. Yay backwards North Dakota.

It took a while, but the people who worked at the record store grew to know my taste in music as I did theirs. One guy was more into folk rock, while the other guy was heavily into hair bands, metal, and guitar heavy ANYTHING. He looked like Garth from Wayne’s World, without the parody. His blond shoulder length hair was parted in the middle. His wardrobe consisted of black and white and bleached blue jeans with t-shirts from anything that prominently featured GUITAR.

I didn’t cross over to his side of the musical aisle, but there were a few times he crossed over to me. Mr. LoveEVERYTHINGguitarheavy, loved Black Cat. “That guitar is sick,” He’d say. He’d play it and groove to the guitar solo, his shoulder length blond hair whipping from shoulder to shoulder as he imagined himself playing the guitar solo.

I might be imagining that last part. But I assured him there was a lot of great guitar playing hidden in the Minneapolis sound. It wasn’t long before Mr. LoveEVERYTHINGguitarheavy reported back to me on a few other songs he liked from Prince, and oddly enough Roxette.

I wonder if I’d recognize him today, if his hair was still there, shoulder length, brushing against a Motorhead T-shirt. All I know is I can’t think of Black Cat without thinking of him.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat”
#3  BixMeister
Score:41 | Oct 18th

I see a lot of comments about Black Cat being all but forgotten and there is one very sad reason for this. After the Superb Owl costume malfunction Janet and Janet alone was black listed and in essence banned from the airwaves due to the clout, misogyny, and rank abuse of power by Les Moonves. Do not discount this when it comes to Janet, do not downplay it.

Her music was pulled from the airwaves, and she was erased. The person with the most clout used it to silence her for one fricking exposed boob, while the boob that exposed it suffered no consequences.

But Janet is a Queen, a Queen whose talents are being appreciated more with each passing year. We’ll be discussing her talent many more times in the coming virtual years. I’ll get many more chances to talk about her talent as I will have opportunities to say what a steaming pile of $#!+ Les is.

As far as the other boob involved is concerned Janet’s next single brought sexy back long before his attempt.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat”
#2  TechnoSandwich
Score:43 | Oct 18th


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#1  CarrieAnne
Score:50 | Oct 15th

I hate this song but not because of the lyrics or melody, it’s because it soundtracked one of the most mortifying moments of my life.

I was fourteen when this song came out and a freshman in high school. And, despite being incredibly shy, I had just started dating my very first boyfriend. I was over the moon with puppy love and things were good. At the same time, there was a local radio station that would let listeners call in on Friday nights to request songs and dedicate them to whoever they wanted. Most of the time the DJ’s would just say something like “that song goes out to so-and-so from whoever”. But sometimes, they would record the caller so you could hear them actually make the request and say why they chose it. Kind of like Casey Kasem’s long distance dedications, except live. Everybody in my school would listen in and try to get their songs played. Hardly anyone ever did, but we all liked to try.
One Friday night, I was at home listening. And lo and behold, whose voice comes over the airwaves but my boyfriend’s. He began talking about how awesome his girlfriend was, and how much fun he had hanging out with her. However, he then began to talk about how he realized that we were better off as friends. That son of a bitch BROKE UP WITH ME ON AIR!! And then requested this song because he said it said exactly what he wanted to say. The DJs played it and then, when it was over, apologized to me because I think they realized how crappy that was to do to me.

If this wasn’t bad enough, despite me praying all weekend long that no one heard it, of course everyone did. People would start singing this song to me in the hallways and that shit went on for MONTHS. It was absolutely humiliating. It finally died down by the end of the school year, but for the rest of high school some dickhead would sporadically start singing this song to me.

I managed to put the whole chapter behind me and had pretty much forgotten about it. Easy to do since this song is never played anymore (seriously, do you ever hear it?). However, a few years ago, I was in some crappy gas station, stopping to pee and get snacks while on a road trip. The cashier was listening to the radio and the DJ started talking about James Ingram and how he had just passed away. And, you guessed it, this song came on. I absolutely froze in place, and apparently I looked like I’d seen a ghost, because the cashier asked me if I was OK. I quickly paid and got the hell out of there as fast as possible.

So, yes, I hate this song. Too bad since I’m usually a sucker for the cheesy ballads!

Posted in: The Number Ones: James Ingram’s “I Don’t Have The Heart”


#5  bigzman342
Score:-5 | Oct 19th

Little love for O.A.R., Portugal. The Man, Tennis, and The Aces? They should also be included as bands to watch.

Posted in: 11 Must-See Acts At Shaky Knees 2021
#4  NotLoveland
Score:-6 | Oct 18th


Posted in: The Number Ones: Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat”
#3  roland1824
Score:-8 | Oct 18th

Isn’t more or less understood that he played everything on just about all White Stripes recordings?

Posted in: Jack White – “Taking Me Back”
#2  TDrummy
Score:-9 | Oct 20th


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#1  tugboatmaryanning
Score:-13 | Oct 20th

Ah, a another female for the stereoboysclub to flay low hanging fruit.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Lana Del Rey Blue Banisters


Score:20 | Oct 21st

as a music lover and a teacher, this loving romp of an album makes me feel like one day I might just go ahead and do something 🤔 my ass will have 10-year-olds doing pitchy renditions of beyonce, bjork, robyn, charli xcx, CRJ… ah, the gay agenda

Posted in: The Langley Schools Music Project’s Innocence & Despair Turns 20

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