Internet Commenter Guy

This week the Black Keys and Lily Allen were in NYC to promote their latest albums. Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney stopped by SNL, Letterman, and Colbert, and might end up with next week’s #1 album for their trouble, if they can keep that “bullshitXscape from the top. Cornetto Cupid Allen did the Today Show, the Tonight Show, and a Highline Ballroom show, her first U.S. concert in five years. Sheezus even dropped by Stereogum HQ to gossip with us about #Solangegate and bring some color into our gray, boring lives. Morrissey had a notable week too, releasing a new video, joining Twitter, and letting us know that isn’t really him on Twitter. We reviewed new albums from Coldplay, Sylvan Esso, Michael Jackson, and Mac Miller, and we ranked the 10 best John Lennon songs. Your best and worst comments are below.


#10 Kelly Conaboy | May 9th Score:28


Posted in: TV Party: Speedy Ortiz Talk Nashville
#9 oblivion | May 9th Score:28

You’re not good at sarcasm are you?

Posted in: Patrick Carney Is Still Pissed At “Fucking Irresponsible Asshole” Justin Bieber
#8 Gmarley | May 12th Score:31

She just wanted to take the stairs.

Posted in: Video Shows Solange Attacking Jay Z In An Elevator
#7 raptor jesus | May 9th Score:32

“And for him to say that all the other guys loved him, they would never come out and talk about how much they despise Kliph. They’re not like that.”

Oh, they’re not like that, but you can come out and say they DESPISE him? Holy fuck that’s the most wicked shit. Wayne acting like he’s the good guy, giving Kliph multiple chances, “Maybe he’ll change!” Then saying that the other silent, kinder, quieter band members actually loathed the guy? What a crock of shit.

So to make him look like a good guy, he throws the rest of the Lips under the bus? You kick out Kliph because you can’t have haters in The Flaming Lips, but according to Wayne, everybody in the band BUT Wayne DESPISED Kliph? Can someone please explain how that works to me? Because I can’t wrap my tiny raptor brain around it.

IN OTHER NEWS: You hear Oklahoma is getting a Satanic monument? They just finished the preliminary sketch:

Posted in: Wayne Coyne Calls Kliph Scurlock An Asshole And A Hater, Apologizes To Native Americans In First Interview Since Headdress-Gate

Zach Keali’i Murphy | May 15th Score:35

My personal theory about this whole incident is that someone was mad about something, and then they weren’t mad anymore.

Posted in: Beyoncé, Jay Z, Solange Release Statement About Elevator Fight
#5 raptor jesus | May 12th Score:35

I felt the attack was more “Lightning Kick” (pictured below) as opposed to the “Spinning Bird Kick” (pictured above)

Posted in: Video Shows Solange Attacking Jay Z In An Elevator
#4 makeitpop | May 14th Score:36

every generation gets the fred durst they deserve

Posted in: 9 Tweets About Tyler, The Creator Only Buzzfeed Employees Will Understand

Kevin Broydrick | May 9th Score:39

I was 10 when this album came out. At the time I was a burgeoning “Agressive Inline” skater and spending a lot of time at the newly opened warehouse skatepark in town called (because of course it was) The Zone. I would take breaks and go outside and hang out with the older kids while they smoked cigarettes and took hauls off bottles of Boone’s Farm and played tapes on one of these…

I remember distinctly when I first heard “Surf Wax America” and “In the Garage” thinking some version of “wow, these guys are just singing about stuff they’re doing, like normal stuff, but it sounds so AWESOME!” I finally got the album myself and the first time I heard “Only in Dreams” I decided it was my favorite song ever. “Only in Dreams” remains my favorite song ever. Those feedback lines are like dancing partners, one dips the other and they split and come back together and swerve and drop out to harmonize and then *BAP-BAPBAP-BAPBAP*… glory.

Years later my then band would play a 4 night residency at our friend Adam’s house while his parents were away. The even was dubbed Tinklefest and there were theme nights the last couple. The final night was a costume part for which I came dressed as Hunter Thompson and my friend Dan rocked a sweet Margaret Thatcher getup complete with blue wig, we got some looks on the bike ride over…

We had our instruments permanently set up in the living room, so we could basically just hop on and play a set whenever we felt like it. That final night we played a cover of “Say It Ain’t So” to a tiny living room packed with about 50-60 people. There was crowd surfing, there was spilling booze, mostly there was everybody singing along. Screaming along. That was both one of the best moments of my life and the moment I realized that “Say It Ain’t So” is the kind of song, (and this the kind of album) that comes along once in a generation. I’ll never forget it.

Posted in: Weezer Turns 20
#2 mickrandom26 | May 12th Score:40

Maybe next time, Jay Z will think twice before revealing Game of Thrones spoilers.

Posted in: Video Shows Solange Attacking Jay Z In An Elevator
#1 Gmarley | May 9th Score:41

Favorite part: “The dog isn’t our dog, the dog is a famous Instagram dog that we happened to be in the presence of – Mayor B is an Instagram dog. And he wears everything. He only wears things that obviously his owners must think are cool. One of them is a John Lennon New York shirt with glasses. I don’t think Mayor B is saying, “Look how stupid and hateful I am” to John Lennon. I got the feeling that Mayor B was wearing [the headdress] for the same reasons that Gwen Stefani or anybody else would wear it, because it’s cool-looking.”

That really might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever read from a public figure.

Posted in: Wayne Coyne Calls Kliph Scurlock An Asshole And A Hater, Apologizes To Native Americans In First Interview Since Headdress-Gate


#5 michael_ | May 9th Score:-19

If you aren’t aware that Twitter is more important to music writers careers these days than their actual work, then you are delusional.

Posted in: Diary Turns 20
#4 michael_ | May 9th Score:-20

Shout out to all of the pro-Videogum downvoters.

Posted in: TV Party: Speedy Ortiz Talk Nashville
#3 michael_ | May 9th Score:-29

Good to know that all it takes to get a paid gig writing job these days is a GChat account, an every day conversation topic, throw in a contact to an indie rock musician and know how to copy and paste your conversation into a post, and voila! Easy money.

Posted in: TV Party: Speedy Ortiz Talk Nashville
#2 michael_ | May 9th Score:-32

Whoops, 951 lol.

Where the hell is Stereogum getting these people, though? I don’t recognize 90% of the by-lines on this site anymore and never see them again.

Posted in: Diary Turns 20
#1 michael_ | May 9th Score:-34

I have no idea who Patric Fallon is and he only has 100 Twitter followers, so I didn’t bother reading this.

Posted in: Diary Turns 20


Robert Wohner | May 15th Score:6

In the Premature Evaluation comments for the new Coldplay album, someone argued that music critics are disproportionately celebrating pop music to compensate for rejecting so much of it. Agree or disagree, I can imagine a similar wave happening as we enter this “PostEDM” phase. Fans of electronic music are expecting Porter Robinson to lead to a similar shift. He’s a phenom. Regardless of his genre, that a 21 year old from North Carolina demonstrates such a compelling musical vision is worth celebrating. A few years ago, patrons and supporters of music websites like Stereogum weren’t ready for arguments posing “In defense of Skrillex”. That could change. Frankly I hope it does. There are producers like Robinson ready to wake us out of our chillwave, Washed Out limbo. At least, they deserve an equal place in the conversation.

Posted in: The Week In Pop: Michael Jackson’s Xscape Is Better Than Nothing
Comments (23)
  1. The Blood Brothers are reuniting and I couldn’t give two shits about how many times I end up in or sweep the bottom five anymore. Take me for who I am, both the good and that which you have a different and wrong opinion about.

    • Looking at the downvotes thus far, I want to clarify that I don’t say this to be condescending. Try to relate it to getting into a stupid argument with someone, offering your apology (even though you don’t think you should have to apologize) but instead of the person being the equal “big” person in accepting it and moving on smoothly, they don’t, there’s radio silence and then they hold a grudge against you. That appears to be the vicious cycle between myself and others around here, and instead of bending over backwards to play nice with people, I’m choosing to filter out those who comment and writer here who are selective readers and hang on my every comment waiting for the ones where I say something negative so they can jump on me 100 times harder for it when people like Michael Hanna, Nathan Christensen or “pickpocket” do just the exact same to acknowledgement of nobody.

      Again, the Blood Brothers are reuniting.

      • With all due respect, the reputation you have gained on this site is pretty much entirely of your own making. I usually just lurk and don’t up or downvote, and I can’t remember the last time I downvoted anything of yours. But every week, it seems like you feel it’s your responsibility to tear down any semblance of enthusiasm for the topic of the article you’re commenting on. Then you boost yourself up by making it sound like you’re above it all, and just too good for this site, its writers, and the bands it writes about.

        It’s not even about bending over backwards to play nice. You don’t bend at all, and then get indignant when people think you’re a jerk.

        • I don’t get what the huge deal is to dislike music or to be critical of its orbiting talking points as much as it is to like it. When did we become such a soft, oversensitive Internet society where everything has to be a unanimously agreeing utopia of positive statements and excitement? That sounds to me like it would defeat the purpose of a comment section altogether.

          For what it’s worth, I actually do contribute a lot of positive statements about music / the artists covered here on this site / what’s being written / who is writing it. The problem? They’re often comments in stories that only garner one comment (mine) and maybe another. Ever think that maybe the stuff I get incredibly excited for is the stuff you don’t even bother to click on?

      • You’re taking the internet way too seriously, man. Don’t worry about stuff like that.

  2. First things first — Scott, you look like my friend’s Dad and I love the hell out of that bastard. I want to hang out with y’all.

    _ is right though about Twitter being more important than anything these days. Think about all those stand up comics you see on open mic nights and they totally suck, and at the end of their set about the differences between black folks and white folks they say “I only got xxx Twitter followers, help me out!” because Twitter is the new resume. Twitter is the new job experience. Fuck a fucking degree, that shit is stupid. Fucking twitter. TWITTER. God. You know music critics feel great when they get a retweet or whatever. I wish I knew how Twitter works. I don’t even think I’m qualified to talk on the subject. So I’ll stop.

    Anyway, my white friend Jordan and I were driving downtown the other day during a big festival and there were cops everywhere. I had weed on me and this dude in the back was just shifty lookin as a motherfucker, and Jordan decides he’s gonna play FUCK DA POLICE loud as hell with the windows down during a traffic stop. I’m like, “hey, I’m a young black dude wearing a fucking golden panther chain and a snapback not to mention I’m holding right now. Turn that shit down.” He called me a pussy. This dickhead called me a pussy for not wanted to get my shit bust. Fuck you, Jordan.


  3. Proud to have made the list, dudes.

  4. Seriously though, “Only In Dreams”.

    • what a great comment section, I was glad to find out i wasn’t the only one who tears up in that epic build-up. I love the song so much, but I don’t listen to it very often because the “feel” is so intense!

  5. I just want to express that I appreciate C-Devy and all the work he does on the Week in Pop. It’s exactly the comprehensive, quick, and dirty scoop I crave on poop culture in order to stay in the know and ahead of my snot nosed son, Daryl.

    And in the end, isn’t that what it’s all about? Chuch.

    Thanks, DevDog.

    - DonDog.

  6. 1 fucking point. Damn, I thought I had it.

    • You do have it. My comment was a barely-editorialized quote, and thus all the upvotes it got were just an agreement that something Coyne said was “dumbest.” I’ll get Macklemore to tweet at you for me.

    • You won for real.

      I used your joke in real life to great success and laughter that week. Thanks for that mick!

  7. Do you realize were commenting on an article about comments? I think we need a new hobby or something

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.

%s1 / %s2