Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

ICYMI we’ve devised a fun user-generated assignment for young Julia: Stereogum Presents… Nochella. You guys are gonna pick a random-ass music festival and we’re gonna send her there to report on it. Just to be clear, though, we expect you’ll pick an unappealing event or at least a fish-out-of-water scenario — it’s supposed to be funny. Go here and nominate any music fest (happening in the US this summer) you want, but we’re really looking for weird/unique experiences to include in the final poll that’ll launch next month. Give us some suggestions that will make Julia regret suggesting this project in this first place!

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10  jloo
Score:44 | Mar 15th

That’s fascinating, because I heard that her biologucal father was Dr Arnold Klein, celebrity dermatologist. He was Debbie Rowe’s boss & lover for many yrs. Debbie Rowe bore 2 of Dr Arnold Klein’s biological children. Not Michael Jackson’s biological children.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#9  rdadmanesh
Score:45 | Mar 15th

Are you seriously trying to yell me that everyone knows Paris’ biological father was Dr. Arnold Klein, celebrity dermatoligist, and that Prince & Paris carry the DNA of Debbie Rowe and her long-time boss and lover, who was Dr. Klein, so Prince & Paris thankfully carry no DNA by MJ?

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#8  Tom Breihan
Score:45 | Mar 21st

I didn’t start noting non-#1 top 10s until I’d been doing this column for months. But I *did* go back and decide which songs were 10s. So here’s the complete list of top-10 10s:

duane eddy – rebel rouser
ray charles – what’d i say, pts. 1 & 2
the drifters – save the last dance for me
ray charles – georgia on my mind
the miracles – shop around
roy orbison – running scared
ben e. king – stand by me
roy orbison – crying
patsy cline – crazy
the tokens – the lion sleeps tonight
roy orbison – dream baby
brian hyland – sealed with a kiss
ray charles – you don’t know me
the miracles – you’ve really got a hold on me
skeeter davis – the end of the world
the chantays – pipeline
the drifters – on broadway
sam cooke – another saturday night
the surfaris – wipe out
stevie wonder – fingertips, pt. ii
the crystals – then he kissed me
the ronettes – be my baby
the kingsmen – louie louie
lesley gore – you don’t know me
the animals – the house of the rising sun
the honeycombs – have i the right
the shangri-las – leader of the pack
the kinks – you really got me
the temptations – my girl
the rolling stones – the last time
the beatles – ticket to ride
the rolling stones (i can’t get no) satisfaction
the righteous brothers – unchained melody
bob dylan – like a rolling stone
james brown – papa’s got a brand new bag, pt. 1
the rolling stones – get off of my cloud
the shangri-las – i can never go home anymore
the vogues – five o’clock world
stevie wonder – uptight (everything’s alright)
nancy sinatra – these boots are made for walkin’
the beach boys – sloop john b
the rolling stones – paint it black
the beatles – paperback writer
four tops – reach out i’ll be there
count five – psychotic reaction
neil diamond – cherry, cherry
the beach boys – good vibrations
the supremes – you keep me hangin’ on
the temptations – (i know) i’m losing you
buffalo springfield – for what it’s worth
four tops – bernadette
aretha fraklin – i never loved a man (the way i love you)
aretha franklin – respect
bobbie gentry – ode to billie joe
diana ross & the supremes – reflections
smokey robinson & the miracles – i second that emotion
otis redding – (sittin’ on) the dock of the bay
the rolling stones – jumpin’ jack flash
jeannie c. riley – harper valley p.t.a.
marvin gaye & tammi terrell – you’re all i need to get by
diana ross & the supremes – love child
steppenwolf – magic carpet ride
marvin gaye – i heard it through the grapevine
the temptations – cloud nine
dusty springfield – son of a preacher man
tommy james & the shondells – crimson & clover
the isley brothers – it’s your thing
desmond dekker – israelites
jackson 5 – i want you back
led zeppelin – whole lotta love
simon & garfunkel – bridge over troubled water
jackson 5 – abc
norman greenbaum – spirit in the sky
simon & garfunkel – cecilia
the temptations – ball of confusion (that’s what the world is today)
the five stairsteps – o-o-h child
stevie wonder – signed, sealed, delivered (i’m yours)
jackson 5 – i’ll be there
janis joplin – me & bobby mcgee
the kinks – lola
the temptations – just my imagination (running away with me)
ike & tina turner – proud mary
marvin gaye – what’s going on
bill withers – ain’t no sunshine
isaac hayes – theme from shaft
marvin gaye – inner city blues (make me wanna holler)
al green – let’s stay together
bill withers – lean on me
hot butter – popcorn
the temptations – papa was a rollin’ stone
curtis mayfield – superfly
marvin gaye – trouble man

Posted in: The Number Ones: Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock”
#7  blochead
Score:46 | Mar 19th

Fun Fact: This song is actually about Full House alum Dave Coulier

Posted in: The Number Ones: Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain”
#6  mazloum
Score:48 | Mar 15th

As a Muslim dude from Egypt, the news from NZ broke my heart this morning. Fuck Islamophobia and White Supremacy.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#5  lobster man
Score:48 | Mar 15th

No I think he’s on to something i too have heard rumblings that everyone knows Paris’s biological father was Dr. Arnold Klein, celebrity dermatologist. Prince & Paris carry the DNA of Debbie Rowe, & her long time boss & lover, who was Dr. Klein. Prince & Paris thankfully carry no DNA by MJ.

That’s just what I heard anyway.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#4  cokeparty
Score:52 | Mar 15th

About Paris’s bioligical father being Dr Arnold Klein, celebrity dermatologist and Prince & Paris carrying the DNA of Debbie Rowe, & her long time boss & lover, who was Dr Klein? That Prince & Paris thankfully carrying no DNA by MJ?

No

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#3  Juice Drinksteen
Score:61 | Mar 20th

“We’re sorry Ms. Gray, but somebody already picked up our only Stereogum press pass for this festival.”
(Sighs) “Was he wearing face paint?”
“Yes.”
“Was he like eight feet tall?”
“Oh, at least.”

Posted in: Stereogum Presents: Nochella
#2  Dr. Arnold Klein
Score:70 | Mar 17th

Paris’s biological father was me, celebrity dermatologist. Prince & Paris carry the DNA of Debbie Rowe, & her long time boss & lover, who was myself. Prince & Paris thankfully carry no DNA by MJ.

Posted in: Paris Jackson Responds To Reports Of Her Suicide Attempt: “Lies Lies Lies”
#1  Albinosaur
Score:114 | Mar 20th

Gathering of the Juggalos

Posted in: Stereogum Presents: Nochella

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5  theyachtmaster
Score:-12 | Mar 21st

i’m a socialist and if he’s sincere about this promise, i will vote trump

Posted in: Beto O’Rourke Addresses Whether He’ll Reunite Mars Volta If He Becomes President
#4  Win
Score:-13 | Mar 17th

Is there an unspoken rule that people with chest tats die young or do we just never talk about the people who managed to survive their own impulse control?

Posted in: Paris Jackson Responds To Reports Of Her Suicide Attempt: “Lies Lies Lies”
#3  sandro
Score:-15 | Mar 17th

She’s fucking rich beyond comprehension. And also dumb as fuck

Posted in: Paris Jackson Responds To Reports Of Her Suicide Attempt: “Lies Lies Lies”
#2  eeeee
Score:-18 | Mar 21st

Naaa, I’m good, never really “got” the Volta. Also, sorry Beto but I generally vote candidates that win elections.

Posted in: Beto O’Rourke Addresses Whether He’ll Reunite Mars Volta If He Becomes President
#1  plurabelle
Score:-25 | Mar 15th

yeah, this band is about as “cool and real” as SXSW itself

Posted in: Car Seat Headrest’s Leveled-Up Live Show Lays Waste To SXSW

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR-IN-CHIEF’S CHOICE

  Y B B
Score:3 | Mar 19th

Sufjan isn’t coming anywhere near this festival after he sees this poster.

Posted in: Justin Vernon & Aaron Dessner’s 37d03d Festival Coming To Brooklyn