2018 In Review

The 50 Best Stereogum Comments Of 2018

It’s New Year’s Eve which means tomorrow this site turns 17 years old. Seventeen! That’s the age Little Eva was when she recorded “The Locomotion.” It’s the age Backpack Kid was when he released the video for “Drip On Boat” featuring Swaghollywood. It’s the age Dr. John was when he was 18. It will be a great age for Stereogum too, as long as 2019 sucks less than the past 12 months.

This year saw some highs though (they did surgery on a grape) and along the way Stereogum’s dedicated commentariat kept everyone honest with top-shelf gifs and whining about the 1975. Thank you for sticking with us! Now let’s get this comment party started, Jered.

THIS YEAR’S 50 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#50 El Gummo
Score:65 | Apr 24th
Our Beach House,
Who art on Sub Pop,
Hallowed be Teen Dream,
Thy new album come,
Thy 9.2 be done,
On Pitchfork as it is in Stereogum,
Give us this day our Album of the Week,
And forgive us our Premature Evaluation,
As we forgive those who say, “I’ve heard it,”
And lead us not into the Beachless House,
But deliver us from KanyeAmen.
Posted in: Beach House Are Loving Losing Life
#49 Max the King of All Wild Things
Score:65 | Apr 23rd
Kanye going full red-pill is going to lead to a lot of really tiresome writing.
Posted in: Kanye West Affirms “I Do Love Donald Trump”
#47 Scott Lapatine
Score:66 | Feb 16th
TGIF

 

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#46 blochead
Score:67 | Nov 26th
“So wait, their terrible last album is actually the good one? (Fuck it, I don’t want to live in this world anymore)”

You feeding them song titles certainly isn’t helping matters.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: The 1975 A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships
#45 Looney Joe
Score:67 | Aug 31st
This is the Streogumiest comment ever
Posted in: Stream Eminem’s Surprise New Album Kamikaze
#44 padfoot24
Score:67 | Nov 1st
I got married a little over a month ago, and originally the plan was to have “Run Away With Me” play directly after our First Dance to kick off the dance floor. A few days before the wedding, Mrs. Padfoot sat me down and says, with much pain in her heart, “Honey…. I don’t think it’s going to play out like it will in your head.”

She was right. I was at my cousin’s wedding just one week before (a whole ‘nother story), and his dancefloor was… mediocre if I’m being nice. You could tell the DJ was under strict orders to play *their* songs, instead of the songs that will get the guests off their asses and cutting a rug, and so people sat and talked and walked around, and there were maybe 10 people dancing at a time. “Run Away With Me” is a Grade-A+ banger, but if my aunt doesn’t know the words, she’s gonna go hit the open bar instead of boppin’. So we went with “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” instead, and it fkn slayed. I was a little sad, but I knew we made the right decision. Then “Call Me Maybe” played and I got around to having the time of my life again.

The DJ was dropping hits left and right all night. I’m being totally biased, but it’s the best wedding dance floor I’ve ever been on. But then totally sober Padfoot (not kidding… getting drunk at your wedding is almost as difficult as finding time to eat) had a brilliant idea; “Run Away With Me” should be the second to last song. “I wanna go, get out of here, I’m sick of the party. Party.” It made too much sense. I conferred with the DJ, who first thought I was coming to criticize his decision to play “Bye Bye Bye” directly after “Backstreet’s Back” (I wasn’t), and we hashed it out. It was on.

Dat saxophone blast came on, and everybody immediately stopped dancing because they had no idea what the hell they were listening to. I was literally the only person dancing in the middle, until my lovely wife joined me. Then came my buddy who accompanied me in her place to CRJ shows in Boston when I was doing the long-distance thang. One by one the dominoes started to fall, until, through sheer will-power, we got the dance floor populated again and it was magical.

I had another idea mid-song: Mrs. Padfoot and I should run away from the dance floor during the slow part, which we did, away from the dance floor to the bar area. Then, we ran back in and I leapt (the dance floor was next to some stairs) into the crowd during that last giant “Run Away With Me.” Probably the best moment of my young life so far.

Tl;dr – I got married and CRJ popped the fuck off.

Posted in: Carly Rae Jepsen – “Party For One” Video
#43 El Gummo
Score:67 | May 2nd
Is this the lowest-rated comment in ‘Gum history? Someone get me the numbers.

 

Posted in: Kanye West Doesn’t Care About Rap Music
#41 b-rar
Score:68 | Mar 24th
Come on dude
Posted in: Killer Mike Defends Gun Owners In New NRA Video
#40 cheap_suit_jr_jr
Score:70 | Dec 15th
It’s kinda fascinating to watch meanspirited toxic-ass dudes like Kanye learn psychological/self-help jargon, then master it just enough to use it as a way to make themselves perennial victims in any and all situations.
Posted in: Kanye West Responds To Ariana Grande, Says He’s Been Off His Meds For 6 Months
#39 phospholipidbilayer
Score:70 | Feb 4th
I find this idea of policing what gender nonconformity looks like to be utter bullshit. It all hinges on equating gender with presentation and with sexuality when they are all mutually exclusive things. Any person of any gender can be any sexuality and present however they please.

If this dude wants to dress femme/androgynous, use he/him pronouns, and is attracted to women/femininity, then power be unto him to actualize that! Good on him for discovering that about himself and finding wholeness!

The same power that he looks to feel from dressing femme/androgynous is the same that I look to feel from the clothing choices I make as a femme, androgynous person. Except I use they/them pronouns and my sexuality is queer. His narrative doesn’t detract from mine. In fact I want more straight men like him to break free from the chains of cisnormativity and heteronormativity to live more authentic lives. We all damn well know that long held stereotypes of masculinity and femininity are extremes, and that 99.9% of all people don’t conform to 100% of the stereotypes attributed to the masculinity or femininity they were assigned at birth. I wish more cis people would own that. Bc owning that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a man or a woman if that is the gender you know you are. But recognizing and owning the ways in which you don’t conform widens the idea of what a man or a woman can look like. You don’t all have to change your names and use they/them pronouns and a whole lot of shit like that. I didn’t start using they them pronouns bc one day I woke up and was like “fuck the system let’s make these cissies’ lives more difficult.” I started using them because they reflect me. I started presenting more femme bc that reflects me. I still wear men’s clothes when they reflect me. I still keep the facial hair sometimes bc it reflects me. I started wearing colorful eyeliner lately bc it reflects me. And I’m considering changing my name and starting hormones, and i’ll only start doing those things when I’m as sure on the inside as I can be that that decision reflects me and where I am right now. I wish more cis people would know that they can decide to do any of these aforementioned things I did (or any other gender nonconforming thing they wish to do) and they can still be the man or woman they say they are. Presentation and gender are related sometimes but for other people they are mutually exclusive. Your presentation is what you want to wear how you want to style your hair and shit like that. Your gender is your understanding of who you are on the inside. Your sexuality is who you want to fuck and whatever god damn kinks you have. And given that with each of those categories there are endless forms people can take, it makes a whole lot of sense to me that the gender binary and the rigid ideas of what men and women are only serve to keep a significant portion of the population scared to embody their authentic selves due to fear of deviating from this perceived norm too much. And I just find that really sad and I hope that all of you know that if your a cis guy and want to paint your nails while sporting a buzz cut and 5’oclock shadow and wearing cargo pants and a silk chiffon blouse, then if you’ve not heard it from anyone else, hear it from me: FUCKING DO IT. YOU ARE STILL THE MAN YOU SAY YOU ARE REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU FUCKING WEAR. BE YOU AND BE HAPPY LIFE IS TOO GOD DAMN SHORT. AND ALL THAT SHIT BETTER BE COLOR COORDINATED OR YOU’LL LOOK A DAMN MESS BUT EVEN IF YOU WANT TO LOOK A DAMN MESS THATS OK I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS.

Same goes to my cis women friends here. Wear that trucker hat with that grandpa Flannel shirt and a flowy skirt and oversized Timberland boots while donning a full face of make up.

Bc the more you guys let go of these fucking ridiculous standards of masculinity and femininity that you yourselves often can’t completely live up to, the less of a contradiction my trans and genderqueer siblings will become to you and the safer we will feel to be our authentic selves.

You would have thought y’all would have learned that with fucking Bowie and Prince and George Michael and Boy George and George Clinton and Grace Jones and Annie Lennox and all these other legends from yore, but if it takes more Young Thugs and Porches and Lil Peeps and Troye Sivans and Olly Alexanders and Mat Healys and Halseys and Syds and Mykki Blancos and Mike Hadreases to nail this lesson in y’all’s heads then so damn be it.

Admittedly I’m at work so I haven’t read the profile, so it’s possible Out or Porches guy said something dumb that people are rightfully mad about. But there’s just a strong stench here that the gays mad at this are probably either no-fats-no-femmes-no-asians-masc4masc-straight-acting-looking-for-other-straight-acting who want to simultaneously call out str8s for “portraying stereotypes” (as if the existence of the stereotype is the problem rather than the narrow idea of what queerness looks like) while deriding and marginalizing those within the damn community who actually embody the damn stereotypes or their probably the type of queer who is so “radical” that there is no such thing as a positive advancement to them and that anything deemed such is somehow problematic (and you know in some cases it sometimes is but damn it let somebody enjoy the small imperfect victories when they happen not because they are fucking ending points in the war for rights but because they are hard-fought for cultural victories in these damn battles that have been taking place over many years).

Anyways love y’all have a good week this week!

❤️ Bless

Posted in: Porches’ Aaron Maine Responds To Accusations Of “Posturing As Queer For Capital Gain”
#38 Chris DeVille
Score:70 | Feb 1st
If you can name zero song titles or even an album title, I don’t think you can call yourself a fan. Your sister is a fraud.
Posted in: Tom Brady Is Totally Pretending To Be A Kendrick Lamar Fan
#37 Marijuana
Score:71 | May 14th
As a white person, I feel its my duty to say this:

White people must be stopped.

Your Pal,

Marijuana.

Posted in: NOPE
#36 undergroundspoon
Score:71 | Apr 25th
I don’t know what to say about Kanye specifically any more, but I’m really reaching my breaking point w/r/t intolerance in rap overall. In 2018 alone:

-Offset literally rapping “I do not vibe with the queers” on the new Migos release.
-Roc Marciano continuing to use a word that’s probably the last one a lot of dead LGBTQ people ever hear.
-xxxTentacion having a #1 album in spite of his beating his pregnant girlfriend’s eyes shut.
-Nicki Minaj picking and choosing her favorite Asian stereotypes to render as aesthetic choices.
-Kanye’s renewed endorsement of Trump, along w/ various other Trump fans (including someone who paints the Black Lives Matter movement as a bunch of whiny hysterics).

Turning music discourse into fan culture w/ a select few agreed-upon punching bags is what I think got us all here with egg on our faces. It’s past time that we figured out how to deal with it.

Posted in: Kanye West Explains Why He Loves His “Brother” Donald Trump: “We Are Both Dragon Energy”
#35 padfoot24
Score:71 | Feb 27th
Yeah guys don’t talk to strangers on the internet
Posted in: Car Seat Headrest Has Subreddit Shut Down Following Community Drama
#34 xiuxiu4life
Score:71 | Oct 9th
Damn. I am not a fan of Lana, but she hit it right on the god damn button:

“u coulda been the greatest female rapper alive but u blew it.”

Fuck. Shit is cold.

Posted in: Lana Del Rey To Azealia Banks: “I Won’t Not Fuck You The Fuck Up”
#33 Tom Breihan
Score:71 | May 30th
I literally wrote a chapter in a book about the Jay/Nas feud like 10 years ago.
Posted in: All Hail Pusha-T, Our Blood-Gargling, Bone-Chomping Rap-Feud Conqueror
#32 zachtron
Score:71 | Oct 9th
member when this song came out 7 years ago and everyone was really excited about her potential?

i member

Posted in: Lana Del Rey To Azealia Banks: “I Won’t Not Fuck You The Fuck Up”
#31 padfoot24
Score:72 | Feb 2nd
Pop is dead


Long live Pop 2

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Justin Timberlake Man Of The Woods
#30 Marijuana
Score:72 | May 7th
 

 

Your Pal,

Marijuana.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Beach House 7
#29 dansolo
Score:72 | Apr 26th
Ok, cool, now let the queen speak:

https://youtu.be/WeN9VDG1ZCo?t=19m24s

“I believe in free thinking. I don’t believe in free thinking if it is rooted in or at the expense of the oppressed. If your free thinking is fueled by oppressors to continue to oppress Black people or minorities, I think it’s bulls**t.”

Posted in: Frank Ocean Addresses Kanye’s Trump Tweets
#28  

 

Jonathan Nasrallah
Score:73 | Feb 19th
Is this from the new Twin Peaks? I haven’t watched it yet.
Posted in: Watch Fergie’s Stunningly Awful National Anthem At The NBA All-Star Game
#27 321letsjam
Score:73 | May 21st
In poor taste for sure but so is the tweet you link calling her a bitch where another person can be heard saying “fuck you bitch, fuck you.” This isn’t really news or worthy of a post in the first place but the fact that none of that apparently stood out to you is questionable as hell.
Posted in: Kendrick Lamar Interrupts White Fan Who Rapped The N-Word Onstage
#26 log
Score:73 | May 1st
Do you think Cedric the Entertainer ever looks at Charlamagne Tha God and regrets not going bigger with his name?
Posted in: Kanye West Shares Full Charlamagne Interview — Watch
#25  

 

Nick Harley
Score:74 | May 31st
When you gotta post a notes screenshot to respond to a diss track, that’s how you know you lost the round.
Posted in: Drake Explains The Old Blackface Photo That Pusha-T Dug Up
#24 dadadaism
Score:74 | May 15th
Whenever I’m walking home from a bar late at night & I notice a white woman walking behind me, I always quicken my pace and cross the street so they don’t gentrify my culture
Posted in: NOPE
#23 TV on the Stereo
Score:74 | Sep 6th
“Gwen Stephani Allegedly Responsible for Tragic Kingdom.”
Posted in: Michael Moore Says Gwen Stefani Inspired Donald Trump’s Presidential Run
#21 undergroundspoon
Score:75 | Jan 3rd
“Where The Fuck Are All The Bands?” – me looking at like every year-end list a month ago.
Posted in: Where The Fuck Are All The Bands? Thoughts On The 2018 Coachella Poster
#20 lobster man
Score:76 | Jan 21st
Homophobia isn’t edgy it’s just ignorant.
Posted in: Cardi B Defends Offset’s Homophobic Lyric: “Our Schools Never Teach Us That These Are Bad Words”
#18 Scott Lapatine
Score:79 | Jul 25th

Posted in: Grimes Says She Tried To Instigate A Tesla Union Vote, Defends Elon Musk’s GOP Donations
#17 champ2010
Score:79 | Oct 7th
Also note that, unlike Kanye’s support of Trump and the idea that slavery never existed(?), she gives concrete reasons and did her thinking about it. I’m cool when pop stars and celebrities share opinions about politics when they’re making a real effort and are informed, regardless of what side they’re on. Though this does beg the question if snakes are legally allowed to vote
Posted in: Taylor Swift Endorses Tennessee Democrats In Rare Political Statement
#16 WilliamSockner
Score:81 | Sep 27th
Today’s been really rough. A bunch of my friends and I have been swapping supportive texts and sharing our stories all morning because watching the hearing has brought us to full-on flashbacks. I’ve heard horrible details from so many beloved women in my life (and a few men) today as we try and sift through all this trauma to find some kind of community together. If I didn’t have so much work to do on this client matter I’d go home from work and just cry into a glass of wine about all the time in our life we’ve lost trying to heal, trying to protect ourselves and trying to forget when we could have been living and smiling and dancing and creating and loving.

Basically, fuck off, Kanye. Supporting sexual abuse isn’t an edgy provocative take to drum up interest in your new album. It’s not some fashionable outfit you get to wear to signal that you can’t be tamed by the PC police. It’s not a game. It’s not a joke. It’s not something that doesn’t matter so long as it doesn’t happen to your OWN daughter. It’s a terrifying reality for most women in the world, either the ones who’ve been directly abused or the ones who’ve had to mold our lives around protecting ourselves from the willful decisions of others to violate.

Anyway, time to listen to some White Lung.

Posted in: Kanye Endorses 6ix9ine, XXXTentacion, Louis C.K. During Fader Visit
#15  

 

Luis Enrique Yañez
Score:82 | Jun 28th
Damon’s in Paris and he’s going Gorillaz, huh!
Posted in: Damon Albarn Warned Paul McCartney Not To Work With Kanye West
#14 FacePeppler
Score:84 | Jan 24th
“how many good albums have a b-hole on the cover”

Morrissey appears on the cover of all of his early solo albums

Posted in: Tyga Defends Terrible Album Cover
#13 cokeparty
Score:85 | Aug 29th
It was great while I never knew it lasted.
Posted in: The Orwells Break Up Following Sexual Abuse Allegations
#12 blochead
Score:86 | Apr 23rd
True Story: I officially abandoned the GOP this saturday and registered as a Democrat. Kanye is apparently filling my vacancy.
Posted in: Kanye West Affirms “I Do Love Donald Trump”
#11 bakedbeans
Score:89 | Jul 26th
 

Posted in: Phil Elverum And Michelle Williams Are Married
#10  

 

Luis Enrique Yañez
Score:91 | Feb 13th
I hope I don’t die today
Posted in: The Long-Rumored Smash Mouth/Car Seat Headrest Collaboration Is Coming Thursday
#9 dansolo
Score:92 | Nov 12th
He also stole Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake’s idea to have a dick in a box
Posted in: Lorde Accuses Kanye West & Kid Cudi Of Stealing Stage Design
#8 dadadaism
Score:94 | Jun 18th
HOW WILL THE COMMENTERS OF STEREOGUM REACT?? HE WAS OBJECTIVELY A BAD PERSON BUT TO SPEAK DISRESPECTFULLY OF THE DEAD IS A FAUX PAS IN TODAYS SOCIETY. WHO WILL GET THE MOST UPVOTES AND HOW? STAY TUNED TO THIS SPACE TO FIND OUT!!!
Posted in: XXXTentacion Dead At 20
#7 LeMon
Score:95 | Mar 24th
“if you disagree with me, it’s just because you’re doing what someone else wants you to do” is a really fucking stupid (and unfortunately ubiquitous) reasoning.
Posted in: Killer Mike Defends Gun Owners In New NRA Video
#6 blochead
Score:96 | Apr 23rd
“Kanye is a musical genius but also an idiot” is something I have typed in one form or another on this site for YEARS. And not unlike Jesus I have suffered for this belief. Oh the downvotes. The “hidden comments”. All of it. I suffered it all for you. I don’t want your apologies today. I don’t want you to dig up old “hidden comments” and raise them from the dead. I know , I know…the Jesus comparison really is apt here. All I ask….as we all ponder Kanye saying “I do love Donald Trump” is your upvote here. Send me to the heavens, Gummers. So that I may be reunited with my father.
Posted in: Kanye West Affirms “I Do Love Donald Trump”
#5 inthedeadofknight
Score:105 | Dec 18th
10. Putting bad pop albums in the Top 10 AOTY.

Let the downvotes raaaaaaaain

 

Posted in: 9 Music Trends That Need To Die In 2019
#4 champ2010
Score:106 | Oct 30th
So either you stole this verbatim from this right wing guy who was one of the people who believed that the mail bombs were a Democratic scheme, or you are that dude and ripped the words straight from your own article
https://www.waynedupree.com/kanye-west-leaves-politics/
Posted in: Kanye Disavows Blexit, Says He Will Distance Himself From Politics
#3 YBB
Score:114 | Nov 20th
 

Posted in: 6ix9ine Denied Bail, Facing Possible Life Sentence
#2 El Gummo
Score:134 | Apr 11th
This comment is hidden as it has many downvotes. Click here to show it.
Posted in: Please Welcome Our New Overlord Cardi B
#1 Tom Breihan
Score:165 | May 2nd
then write about it yourself, bitch.
Posted in: Kanye West Doesn’t Care About Rap Music